


Whispers In The Dark

by luckoftheirish (luckyirish418)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Liam, Happy Ending, M/M, Smut, Top Zayn, perrie and sophia don't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 06:47:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4819247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckyirish418/pseuds/luckoftheirish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn leaves One Direction. Liam leaves Zayn. </p><p>But nothing is ever that simple...</p><p>thanks jasmine, for reading and encouraging me always. you are beautiful. and i love you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whispers In The Dark

It’s silent as they sit on their own ends of the couch in a hotel room. A full cushion separating them. They are in a part of the world Liam will never ever want to come back to, because now this place will forever be the last place Zayn belonged to him. Liam doesn’t even recognize the tension filling the room. It’s never been like this between them, but now Liam doesn’t know if it will ever be the same. He remembers a time when just being in the same room as Zayn made him smile. Now being in the same room with him makes him want to cry.

He breaks the silence with a whisper. “Can you just tell me why?”

Zayn sighs. Not out of annoyance, but because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to make anyone understand. Liam used to just understand him. And now? Now, he feels like he’s all alone. “I’m tired Li. Tired of all the running around. Tired of touring. I’m just…tired.”

Liam shakes his head. “Tired?”

Zayn can hear the tears that Liam’s trapped in his throat. “I love you Liam. I just can’t do this anymore.”

Liam just stares at him before he stands and places a gentle kiss on Zayn’s lips. “I love you too Zayn. I’m really going to miss you.” He turns and heads to the door.

“Liam! Wait!” Zayn doesn’t know why it feels like good-bye. “Me leaving the band doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you.”

Liam gives him a sad smile as he crosses the span of the room.  He doesn’t turn back until his hand is on the door. “I’m not built for long distance Zayn. You know that. I’ll never stop loving you. Ever.” Liam swipes at the single tear that’s escaped.  “And maybe someday it will be what it was. But for today.” He paused and they each pull in a ragged breath. “You need to figure out who you are without us. And I guess I have to figure out who I am without you.”

“Liam…” This time it’s Zayn that whispers because his heart is pounding.

“Don’t forget to check in Zee. Don’t forget that I love you.” Liam closes the door to the room with a muffled click.

Zayn sits paralyzed on the couch. This isn’t how he thought it would go. He’d come to Liam first because, of all people, he believed Liam would understand. But instead Zayn broke Liam’s heart. And in the process broke his own.

Liam is right about one thing. He does need to figure out who he is. But he’s not about to let Liam forget how much he means to him. He’s not giving up. He’s keeping his freedom and he’s keeping Liam.  

******************************

Liam’s hands skim up Zayn’s chest. Stopping briefly to tease his nipples hard, before continuing up and into his hair.  His mouth following the same path. Leaving a wet trail behind and Zayn feels the goosebumps pop out on his skin. 

Liam’s lips bruise Zayn’s. It’s rough, wet and everything Zayn has wanted since Liam walked out of their hotel room two weeks ago.

Zayn scratches his nails up and under Liam’s shirt and sighs out Liam’s name.

He can feel Liam’s hands on the button of his jeans, they freeze when someone yells Zayn’s name. He grabs Liam’s face and pulls them back together. Sealing his lips to the birthmark on Liam’s neck. He hears his name again.

He opens his eyes and finds himself alone. In Bradford. His sister standing in the doorway of the guest room he’d commandeered when he’d flown home.

“Zayn! Why are you still in bed at 2 in the afternoon?”

Zayn simply grunts and pulls the blanket over his head.

Doniya smirks at him before walking away. But not before adding “still dreaming about Liam huh?”

Zayn wants to yell. Or scream. Or at the very least make the fucking erotic dreams go away. His dick is sore from wanking off. And the stilted “just friends” texts he’s been sharing with Liam aren’t enough to make him feel like they are okay. He needs a plan. And he needs help.  But right now, he needs a shower – because he came all over himself dreaming about Liam. Again.

******************************

Liam smiles and waves to the fans screaming his name as he makes his way, with Paddy, to the car waiting to whisk him to Surrey and away from the airport.

Normally Liam would be ecstatic to have an extended break from touring.  But nothing has felt normal for weeks. He knows he was right to tell Zayn he needed to figure out what he wanted. He believed he needed time without Zayn. But he was wrong. This _without Zayn_ life style he’s been living, isn’t really living.  He feels like he’s missing a limb.

He dreams about Zayn every night. Sometimes about things they’ve already done together. And other times he dreams about things he wants them to do together. Most of the time he dreams about making love to Zayn. Or Zayn making love to him.  

He texts Zayn and Zayn always texts him back. But the texts are filled with useless drabble. Neither sure where the line is between them anymore.

Liam is determined to move on. Even if it kills him. Each day that passes he’s more convinced it will in fact kill him.  

******************************

Zayn sits in the dark. Waiting. It’s been three weeks since he’s seen Liam and he refuses to wait any longer.

So he’s in Liam’s bedroom, at his home in Surrey. Alone. In a Liam’s bedroom. The last time he was here, he’s made love to Liam on the king size bed in the middle of the room. Zayn can’t bring himself to climb into the bed because he knows it will smell like Liam. Until he knows what’s going to happen next with he and Liam  – he just can’t. It’s yet another feeling he can’t find the words to explain.

So he waits for the man he knows is coming home today.  And he knows because Louis took pity on him and told him Liam’s schedule.

He’ll soon find out if walking away from the band that made him famous and the boys who helped make him who he is – means he’ll lose the only man he ever loved.  

******************************

Liam enters his home throwing his bags down and trudging up the stairs. He’s going to sleep for a week.  Maybe when he wakes up he won’t be so damn depressed.  He doesn’t even turn his bedroom light on. He simply starts stripping once he’s inside.  He should shower, but he doesn’t even feel like doing that. He’s going to hide in his bed until his heart stops hurting. Or until the beating of his heart doesn’t sound like Zayn’s fucking name in his head.

He’s down to worn black boxers, one knee on the bed – just getting ready to turn down the comforter when a movement to his left catches his eye. He spins towards the movement ready to defend himself from an intruder. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Zayn says quickly, hands up in a defenseless pose.

“What the fuck Zayn?!?!” Liam clutches his chest as if that will keep his racing heart from plunging out of his chest. “Why are you in my home?! Sitting in the fucking dark!!??”

Zayn takes a deep breath and a small step forward. “I had to see you. And I was afraid if I text you and asked you’d find a reason to say no.” Zayn offers a sheepish smile. “So I decided to show up without asking, cause then you’d have to kick me out if you didn’t want to see me. And I’m really hoping you don’t want to kick me out.”

Liam just stares at him before he flops down on the bed. Zayn stands frozen, while Liam’s breathing returns to normal and he stares at the ceiling.

“Liam?”

Liam huffs out a breath. “I don’t want to talk right now. I want to sleep.”

Zayn nods even though Liam can’t see him.  “Okay. Can I sleep in your spare room? So we can talk tomorrow?”

Liam sits up and stares across the dark room at Zayn. Zayn’s eyes have long since adjusted and he can see Liam just looking at him, his face completely unreadable. “No.”

Zayn can’t help the gasp that escapes. He just stands there and lets his hope shatter and land in pieces around him on Liam’s bedroom floor. “Okay Li. I’m really sorry. I just…” He takes a deep breath. “You know what? I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. I guess nothing matters anymore.” Zayn makes his feet move him towards the door. His body is numb. Heart cold. Head fogged. “Bye Liam.”

“I didn’t mean you couldn’t stay.” Liam motions with his hand for Zayn to come closer.

Zayn takes the tentative steps until he’s next to the bed. Standing beside Liam who’s half on the bed, half off and still mostly naked. A fact that Zayn’s head is trying to ignore but his dick has definitely noticed.

“I want you to stay here with me. I’ve really missed you.”  Liam reaches forward and snags Zayn’s wrist and tugs him onto the bed. Zayn tumbles forward. He’s still in shock from Liam’s _no_ and still processing _here with me_ so he’s less than graceful as his body lands sprawled across Liam.

Liam moves them both until their legs are tangled together, the duvet covering them to their chins, foreheads pressed together. It’s only then that Zayn breathes again.

“Liam…” Zayn doesn’t know if he’s said his name out loud or simply in his head, but he can’t fight himself as he presses his lips softly to Liam’s.  

Liam kisses him back and Zayn’s whole body throbs in relief. Zayn feels hands he’s been desperate for, for weeks, slip under his shirt. One of Liam’s hands slides to his lower back, the other up to press against his sprinting heart.

Their lips are sluggish against each other. Tasting what hasn’t been tasted in weeks. For Liam it’s been a lifetime. He pulls back and waits for Zayn to open his eyes. “I love you.”

Zayn smiles and methodically kisses Liam’s neck before sucking on his birthmark. “I love you more.”

Liam groans before pulling Zayn closer to him. “We do need to talk, but I really need to sleep. I really need to sleep with you.”

Zayn cuddles into Liam. Holding him as tight as his arms will allow. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Zayn hears a quiet “promise?” before Liam’s breathing evens out and he falls to sleep. Zayn lays awake for only a few more moments. Weeks of broken sleep and tormenting dreams are forgotten and his body finally has what it’s craved. Liam.

******************************

Liam wakes slowly. Feeling rested for the first time in weeks. On instinct he stretches for the body that should be on the other side of the bed. His eyes pop open when he meets an empty space and cold sheets. “Zayn?”

“I’m here Liam.” Zayn is sitting across the room. In the same chair he’d spent hours in the night before waiting for Liam to come home. He’s been awake and thinking for hours, while Liam softly snored in bed.

Liam moves carefully until he’s sitting up and propped against his headboard. “Why are you way over there?”

“Because you said you wanted to talk. And when I woke up, I…” Zayn shakes his head and smiles. “I was having a hard time remembering that. And I don’t want to disappoint you anymore then I already have.”

“Zayn…” He stops. “Please come here.”

Zayn moves towards the bed and climbs up until he’s shoulder to shoulder with Liam.  Liam reaches for his hand and delicately winds their fingers together. He brings the back of Zayn’s hand to his lips. “I was never disappointed in you Zee. I was so sad that our dream was ending. But I realized that what was happening wasn’t our dream. It hasn’t been our dream in a long time. And I understand why you did what you had to do.”

Zayn gapes at Liam. “Really?”

Liam beams at him. “Really. I was going to text you in the car on the way home last night and ask you to meet me. But then I figured I owed you a face to face after the way we left things. So I was going to drive to Bradford this morning. Sweet talk your mom and sisters into letting me in to talk to you.”

Zayn snorts. “You wouldn’t have had to try very hard. They like you more than they like me.”

“I know.” Liam laughs out loud and Zayn thinks it is the sweetest sound he’s ever heard.

Zayn asks the questions that have been pinging around his head since he woke at the ass crack of dawn. “Are we okay Liam? Is it you and me again? Will you try with me? Even if it’s long distance. Even if it’s hard sometimes. I don’t want to live without you in my life. These last few weeks have been awful.”

Liam takes a moment because it’s an important answer. “We are more than okay Zayn. I can’t be without you and I won’t. I’m sorry for walking out that day. I really am. And I’ll try anything for you. And we’ll make sure it works. Because I can’t live without you either.”

******************************

The day passes in a blur of phone calls to the other boys and Zayn and Liam’s family to fill them in on what is going on.

They tuck together on the couch and watch pointless drivel on TV. They take turns dozing and raiding the kitchen of what little food Liam has, since he’d been on the road.

“I’m going to go take a shower.” Liam untangles himself from Zayn. “I’ll make us dinner when I come back.”

“I could make us dinner.”

Liam grins before shaking his head. “No thanks mate. I don’t feel like cleaning up your mess.”

“Not nice Liam. Not nice at all.”

He’s just stepping under the hot spray when he hears the door to the bathroom open. He waits but doesn’t hear anything else so he slides the frosted glass door open to find Zayn sitting on the counter in just his boxers. He waits for Zayn to say something, but he just sits there – staring at Liam, waiting for permission.

Liam finally relents. “You coming in?”

Zayn moves quickly. Shucking his pants and slipping into the shower with Liam.

It quickly becomes clear that Zayn is not here to get clean. He drops to his knees before Liam can even process what is happening.  His mouth is around Liam’s shaft in the next breath and Liam moans long and loud as he’s sucked into wet heat. “Christ Zayn.”

Zayn’s mouth pops off obscenely. “This is how I wanted to wake you this morning, but you wanted to talk.”

“I’m done talking. You should be done talking too.” Liam’s laugh at his own joke is short lived, when Zayn sucks on the inside of his thigh as he sneaks his finger between Liam’s ass cheeks slowly circling his hole.  “Yes. Please.”

Zayn wants it all and he doesn’t care if it’s quick and dirty in the shower, he’ll do slow and romantic later. His dick has been hard since last night and he’s been waiting for Liam to make the first move all day. He looks up to find Liam looking down at him. He pulls his finger away before slowly standing. Kissing his way up Liam’s stomach, over his chest, up his neck, ending up with their lips drinking from each other. “I’ve been waiting all day for you to make the first move.”

Liam giggles. “Same here. I wasn’t sure if we were taking things slow. Didn’t want to rush into anything.”

Zayn pulls back. “This is going to be rushed. The next time can be slow.”

Liam just nods frantically before plastering himself against Zayn. Their mouths and hands become near hysterical. Biting and scratching to get closer and feel more – take more.

Zayn spins Liam around. “Hands on the wall. Ass out. You’re mine. I’m going to show you that you are mine. Okay?”

“Yea.” Liam breathes it out. “I am yours babe.”

“Need lube babe. Don’t move.” Zayn sprints out of the shower and almost face plants on the floor. He rights himself but not before crashing into the doorframe.

“Okay?”

“Yes! Don’t move Liam.”

Liam giggles again and Zayn thinks that sound may actually kill him one day. Because it makes his heart stutter every single time.

He finds the lube where he left it the last time he was here. In the bedside table he had started to call his. He’ll think about all of that later, right now he has another agenda.  He scurries back to the bathroom and Liam is still where he left him. He can’t help but stare for a moment. He wanted to be here like this. This is why he’d come to Liam, but if he’s honest he didn’t really believe he’d get this. And his emotions are threatening to strangle him.

“Zayn. Come on! You said fast. I want fast. You can stare at me later.”

Zayn wants to tease Liam, but that will mean tormenting himself and he doesn’t want that at all. Lube and the shower is a tricky thing, so he does his best to avoid the rushing water and slicks his hand with lube. He runs his non slicked hand down Liam’s chest until he’s gripping Liam’s dick in a loose fist. He bites Liam’s ear before speaking into it. “Don’t move babe. Gonna stretch you out and make you feel me.”

“Don’t…” Liam heaves.

Zayn stops. “Don’t what?”

Liam turns his head so he can steal a kiss. Licking and sucking at Zayn’s lips until Zayn is just as keyed up as he is. “Don’t stretch me. Just…” Liam actually blushes and Zayn doesn’t understand how he can still do that after everything they’ve done together. “I want to feel you. I want it to hurt a little. Like it did the first time you did this to me.”

Zayn growls and drives two fingers into Liam without hesitation. “You are fucking killing me Payne.”

Zayn can’t not stretch Liam at all. He just…can’t. So he hurries and he’s not as careful as he normally is.  Liam doesn’t seem to mind and even though Zayn told him not to move, he alternates between rutting into Zayn’s hand and driving back against his fingers. “Please babe. Want you…”

That’s all Zayn can take. Liam bends a little more and Zayn presses up behind him. He uses his hands to spread Liam’s ass open. He can see Liam’s hole, clenching and begging to be invaded. Zayn guides himself in slowly and he hears Liam hiss over the pounding water. He grabs the lube and pours some out over his dick as he watches it slide deep into Liam.  “Liam…” It comes out as a groan, near pain – past pleasure.

“Faster Zee. Wanna feel it.”

Zayn pistons his hips into Liam and almost stops when Liam cries out. Liam must sense his hesitation because his hand comes off the wall and grips Zayn’s hip. “Harder baby. I want it.”

Zayn doesn’t hesitate again. He drills into Liam. Looking down and watching his dick disappear over and over. It’s erotic and the noises Liam is making means this isn’t going to last very long. “Close Liam. I’m close.” He’s gritting his teeth and holding onto his control by his fingertips.

He loses his grip on that control when Liam’s hand leaves his hip and reaches to feel Zayn as he’s gliding in and out of his hole.  Liam brings his other hand around and holds himself open and that’s all it takes for Zayn to flood Liam with his orgasm. Zayn watches it all. He watches Liam tease his finger in alongside his cock, so he’s stretched even more. He watches his cum leak out as he continues to press in because he’s still hard.  Liam is holding himself up again as Zayn buries his cum deeper in Liam’s core.

Liam’s panting and talking but he’s not making any sense.  Zayn reaches around and pumps Liam a few times, floating his finger over the tip and teasing the slit. He hears and feels the moment Liam comes himself. He tenses, Zayn’s dick still inside him and he pulses in Zayn’s hand with a whimper.

They stay that way. Lungs heaving. Liam’s forehead resting against the shower wall. Zayn’s forehead resting against Liam’s back.

They pull themselves together and rinse off, but really they just keep touching each other. Smiling, laughing, and flirting because this all feels new.  This feels like a new beginning for them. A beginning they’ll control.  A beginning that has no end.

 

 

  _end._

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and criticism (constructive) is always nice.  
> Please be kind. This is the first thing I've written in awhile.  
> I love ziam.


End file.
